Two years of retirement and my 100
th blog post have
me in a reflective mood.
Here are some
musings on what I’ve learned in the first two years of retirement.
I was ill equipped for free time. Sure, I’d been on vacations, and I generally
didn’t work on weekends, but having a clean slate of time was something new to
me. Without the constraints of a job, I
have to come up with my own goals and plans.
I generally have a list of things I want to accomplish, much like my working
days. But now, I don’t have too much heartburn
if I decide to delay a task until the next day.
Now, I’m the one giving myself “performance reviews”. I only have to please myself (and my spouse,
of course). So after a lifetime of
busy, I am learning to slow down and soak up life.
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Hanging with Joleen and Roby |
Leaving your job, selling your house, leaving your friends
and moving to a new city is a lot of change.
Generally I like change and seek it out, but this was a heavy load.
At first we were so busy remodeling my house
that I didn’t miss my job, and of course I could easily hook up with my friends
for lunch or drinks.
It was only after
the house was sold and I moved 500 miles away that I realized what was
missing:
my long-term friendships formed
over years of working together.
Even
today it’s a bit lonely living far away from these friends, but I try to keep
in touch. And I continue to work on making new friends
here.
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Dinner with Emily, Maggie and Brian |
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Walking with Ruth along the river |
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With my sweetie |
Living with your spouse 24x7 isn’t necessarily easy.
Style differences show up big time when you
are together all the time.
I am a neat
freak, and Mike doesn’t need a world free of clutter.
I like to complete my chores before playing,
and Mike prefers to play if and when a good opportunity arises.
Mike is the energizer bunny and prefers to be
busy all the time.
I need my down time
to energize.
We continue to learn more
about each other and are adapting to all this time together.
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Getting the photo... |
I get to be creative every day, and I LOVE IT!
Every day I can choose a creative endeavor
whether it’s writing, photography, beading, sewing, painting or some other DIY
adventure.
And some of my happiest
moments are when I’m using my imagination to create something new.
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Making purses out of re-purposed jeans |
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With mom at the Cincinnati Arboretum |
Spending time with family is now a wonderful reality.
For my entire working life I lived 500-600
miles away from my family in Southern Indiana and Cincinnati.
I got to see them on holidays, but I missed
the daily life occurrences.
Now I can
pop up at my mom’s for a quick visit, I can see my nephew in a cross country
race, watch another nephew play baseball, spend time with my sister and her
husband at an Irish fest or go to an art fair with my brother and his
wife.
I can’t undo those missed years,
but I’m so happy to be a part of the family once again.
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Enjoying the Irish Fest with George and Pam |
During my last 3 years of work, I traveled a lot to see my
husband who lived in a city 500 miles away.
I am so happy that we are finally together in one city and one house,
but I strangely enough I find that I miss the long drives.
I like the wide-open road.
Seeing the farm fields and small towns pass by
helps me see the big picture and leave problems and issues on the road behind
me.
So once in awhile Mike and I head out again on the open road...
I carefully watch my spending. When I was working, I was fortunate to have
money to buy what I needed when I needed it.
And I saved a lot during those working years, but I don’t necessarily
want to spend it YET. So I think very
carefully about what I really need, and it’s actually very little. Of course we have household, vehicle,
insurance and food expenses, but I really don’t NEED much beyond that. Of course I still like clothes, but now I
need casual clothes and not expensive work clothes. And living with Mike I am learning to re-use and
re-purpose what we already own.
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Enjoying California wine country |
I don’t NEED vacation like I did when I was working.
During the long working hours, I needed an
escape to an exotic location.
Now don’t
get me wrong, I still love traveling and exploring a new place, but now it’s a
WANT instead of a NEED.
And I still
love talking about and planning a next trip, but I don’t feel compelled to have
the next trip on the horizon.
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Biking in Eagle Creek Park |
Retirement doesn’t mean you will automatically start
exercising more.
Whether working or
retired, you have to be motivated.
And
I’m not as motivated as I expected or should be.
I walk or ride my bike 3-4 times a week, but
I know I should be doing more.
But similar
to my working days, I find myself busy with other activities, and I don’t want
to break away to exercise.
I’m working
on this, and if you find my motivation, please send it my way.
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Camping with Gretchen and Craig |
I have more time for the important people in my life.
I have slowed down enough to listen intently
and hopefully talk less.
I feel like I’m
there for people more than in my past.
I remember my work mantra in the
years prior to retirement:
“people are
more important than tasks”.
What that
usually meant was I would spend time with people while at the same time thinking
and worrying about the tasks I was not getting done.
Now, l am finally living more in the moment
and taking time for the people around me.
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Tooth fairy cleaning bases. Dream job? |
I thought I might be employed by now.
I remember telling people I didn’t think I
was finished working, and that I had more to offer.
I think this is still possible, and some days
I really wish I could be contributing in a major way.
But you know I’ve become very picky about
what I do next.
I don’t want to take
just ANY job or volunteer opportunity.
My free time has become too important to fritter away.
It feels like I worked my whole life for this
time in my life, and I want to savor it. And yes, I still keep my eyes open for
that opportunity to make a difference.
The label “retiree” is getting easier now. I fought it at first, and it still can bring
conversation to a standstill at a cocktail part. It is my current stage in life, but it is only a label.
Finally stripped of a work title and
position, I am discovering and re-creating a new Diane. It’s a bit scary at times like when I wonder
where I’m headed next. Or when people ask me what I’ve been up to and I don’t have an easy answer on how I spend my time. It's not always easy, but I love this time of self-discovery and change. And just maybe that's my own definition of retirement...