Thursday, March 27, 2014

What's klutz got to do with it?

Ok, I admit it.  I am not and never will be a ballerina.

 I took a class once when I was in college, and the teacher's words are indelibly etched in my head:  "PLIE' DIANE, PLIE'!  

I know, you are wondering "how hard can that be"?  I was a failure in every sense of the word, including the definition:
Bent, bending. A bending of the knee or knees. This is an exercise to render the joints and muscles soft and pliable and the tendons flexible andelastic, and to develop a sense of balance. 

You see, I have no sense of balance.  Or, in other words, I am a bit of a klutz.  My friends and family just understand this about me.  I move fast, I don't always look before I turn or walk backwards, I drop stuff, I trip over things and fall more than anyone should.  Generally I'm a bit of a nuisance to be around.

This past week showed my true klutz colors.

First of all, we were walking downtown with friends on a beautiful Friday evening, and I ran into a parking sign.  Why it was in the middle of the sidewalk I'll never know. Generally they are right next to the curb, but Noooooooo. Not when I'm innocently walking down this sidewalk watching the sights around me.  This sign was just about waist high, and so I now have a nice vertical bruise right above my belly button.

And Gilbert had the audacity to chomp off a blossom

And lately I've had a bit of Spring Fever, meaning I want to change up the furniture and decorations around the house.  So, I added some beautiful flowers to an old crock and was placing this in front of the fireplace.  As I arranged the flowers, I would then step back to look at them.

Well, I forgot Mike's backpack was right in the middle of the floor, and I stepped on it while walking backwards.  Next thing I know, I'm falling backwards onto the floor, flat on my back.  Good thing I was by myself given the choice words that came out of my mouth.  After moving around a bit to make sure nothing was broken, I pulled myself off the floor and promptly moved (maybe threw?) that backpack to a safer place.  So far I've only developed a bruise on my hand from that fall.

And you may have heard me talk about my new iPhone.  On Saturday after lunch we were getting into the car, and I heard some words from my iPhone inside my purse.  Possibly I had pushed the SIRI button, but here's what I saw on the screen:

Now really, I did not tell SIRI "I love you".  Maybe I said "I love my iPhone", or "I love you sweetie", but I did not use those words with SIRI.  But we laughed long and hard at the answer "I value you".  Who programs this stuff anyway?  Fortunately no bruises came with this klutzy move...

So as a word of warning... if you are anywhere near me, you may want to watch your step.


1 comment:

  1. I'll be sure not to take an aerobics class with you. When everyone goes left, I am swinging right. But maybe we'd end up going the same way. Can't say I am a klutz unless it has something to do with dancing but can feel your pain. And it was Mike's fault. He left the backpack in a most inconvenient place :-) Enjoy your spring. Love the cat.