Retirement: What I learned about myself since retiring 3 years ago

Who could resist these beautiful leaves?

Today is the 3 year anniversary of when I retired.  Wow!  It's really hard to believe that 3 years have elapsed since I left the work force.













Here are some things I've learned about myself as a retired person:

Living in the moment comes easier now. I don't have to think about work problems, and that allows me to focus on on the moment and the people I'm with.

I am learning how to procrastinate.  Bad thing when you manage projects, but an ok thing in retirement.         I don't have to do everything today.  Sometimes it can wait until the next day.  I haven't yet reached "I put the pro in procrastination" status which is how Mike defines himself, but I certainly cut myself more slack.

I am still way too analytical.  Somehow I can't seem to turn off that part of my brain.  I analyze the heck out of everything.  Sometimes that's ok, especially when it prevents an error.  But other times it's just a pain!

I am learning to breathe in nature.  Whether it be flowers or trees or clouds, I can easily get lost in the moment.

I am finding my own routine as a retired person.  I love the freedom to relax in the morning with a cup of tea and the news. This is such a delight after decade of racing off to work.

I enjoy variety.  Too much of the same bores me.  Not much has changed here since work days.  If things are the same too long, I'll change them.  I think that's why I have a variety of interests, and I focus on one for awhile and move onto the next.

I am still a type A personality, but I've softened a bit.  I smile and laugh more, and I'm generally a happy person.  But as Mike can tell you, sometimes "the old Diane" kicks in and pushes too much.

I love creativity, and I'm so happy to apply that now to art, photography and writing instead of solving work problems.  My happiest days are ones where I've created something new.

I can sleep now.  I am able to remember my dreams, and they are no longer dreams about people chasing me and wanting to harm me.  If I wake up now, I fall asleep quickly.  And no alarm clock.  It's a dream come true.

I am learning my way around Indy. I thought it would never happen, but I can now find my way to major destinations here.  Still direction impaired, I'm thankful for the "Maps" application on my phone and iPad.

I am comfortable in "our house" now.  I was so afraid this would always feel like Mike's house, but by merging "stuff" and tastes, we are creating our own place.  And it feels great!

I am paying more attention to my health.  Ok, that doesn't yet mean I'm exercising more, but if a problem comes up, I'm pretty quick to get it checked out.  In the past, I was always too busy to leave work, but now I can schedule a doctor appointment quickly as needed.

I don't spend money like I used to.  Mike told me tonight that I'm thinking like a "true retiree".  I really evaluate whether I need that new sweater or pair of boots, where in the past I would have spent money without much question.

I enjoy traveling, but I love my life at home.  We've been to some great places since I retired, but  I no longer NEED to get away like I did while working.  Now it's more a matter of places Mike and I want to visit.

I love the ability to spend time with family and friends.  With Mike and I being in the same city, we are able to plan and have impromptu visits with family and friends.  It's a priority for both of us.

I am learning some carpentry skills by being an apprentice to Mike.  We've worked on building a bike rack and rebuilt the porch this summer.  I am getting a better understanding of how things go together, but I am still not comfortable operating power tools that have blades.  Probably for the best!

I am still a klutz.  Falling on a hickory nut and breaking my arm while walking through the neighborhood last Fall tells me that grace and agility do NOT come automatically with retirement.

I do not miss work.  At all.  I am starting to think about a next activity, but I'm pretty sure it will not be project management.

I am grateful.  I thank God every day for all the blessings in my life.

Here's a look at the last 3 years:

Mardi Gras parade in Ensenada

Hiking at Beehive Basin in Montana

Cabra Castle in Ireland

Caribbean cruise with friends

Indianapolis Indians game

Family visit

Thanksgiving

Volunteering at Lucas Oil Stadium before Indy's Super Bowl

Iron Man and Black Widow

Woodstock Party

Painting the bike rack

Cleaning old cast iron chairs

Creating our new music room

Sewing coin purses

Rebuilding the porch

Enjoying the moment!

What is retirement REALLY like?

Photography

It's a question Mike and I get asked again and again.  Among most of our friends, we are the first to retire.  And sometimes it feels like they are observing us, seeing how we are REALLY doing in retirement.  In other words, are we happy?

Recently I read an interesting article by Rodney Brooks in USA TODAY on his interview with author-radio show host Wes Moss. Wes recently surveyed 1300 people in 46 states about retirement.  He was looking for the happiest retirees and their financial state.  He then wrote a book: "You can retire sooner than you think: the 5 money secrets of the happiest retirees".

In the USA TODAY article he gave his top 3 pieces of advice for happiness in retirement:

1. Pay off your mortgage.  "Happy retirees are four times more likely to have their mortgage paid off in five years or less".

2.  Level of income is important. Happy retirees have at least three sources of income in retirement.  These might include Social Security, a pension, part time work, rental income and investment income.  They have diversification in their income.

3. "Busier retirees are happier".  "Happy retirees have 3.6 core hobbies, unhappy have less than two".

He went on to say that people thinking about retirement should get hobbies so they don't arrive at retirement trying to figure out what to do next.  People who are happy in retirement wanted to stop working so they could have more time for their hobbies and interests.

Gardening

In my own retirement, my best days are when I have several hobbies or activities to choose from.  I might write a blog entry, work on a new denim table clot, or move some flowers in my garden.  I might paint some cast iron chairs I bought at a garage sale.  I might want to finish that new book I just started or work on a new piece of jewelry.  And then there's biking and walking, which I should do more often.

At a party last weekend everyone seemed to be talking about when they could retire.   Seems like most were counting down the days before they were free of the work scene.  But what were they planning to do in retirement?

As I looked around at people attending the party, there were a few people who were involved with  hobbies today such as photography or woodworking.  Others had ideas of what they wanted to do in retirement, but they weren't really doing that activity today.  And some didn't have a plan for retirement; they just wanted out of the work scene.

Before I retired, I didn't really know what I would do with my time.  I thought I might work some, but I have not pursued a job.  I expected to volunteer, but I haven't started that yet.  I planned to write a book, and I've actually made some progress on that.

Jewelry making

But I also had hobbies before my retirement, and I am actively pursuing them in retirement: photography, jewelry-making, sewing, gardening, playing guitar, live music, biking, walking and cooking.  And of course, writing a blog.  And by having so many diverse interests, I don't often get bored.  In fact, most days I wished I had more time.

I agree with Wes Moss that you need to get your financial house in order for retirement.  But the area that's often overlooked in retirement planning is developing hobbies while you are working.  Retiring and having an additional 40-50 hours available in your week can be daunting if you don't know what to do with the time.

So if you are sitting at your desk at work dreaming of retirement (or if you already retired), start thinking about your current hobbies. Do you have any that you are excited about?  Don't be afraid of failure.  If something doesn't work out, drop it and try something new.

Biking

When I was younger I tried golf for several years, and it wasn't my thing.  I also tried skiing, and though I enjoyed the bunny hills of Iowa, skiing once at Winter Park in Colorado scared me to death. So I gave up skiing...At least I can say I've had the experience.

So what's retirement REALLY like?  It's a great place to be, most days anyway....  I think it's different for each person, and it changes over time.  I may be doing something totally different next year, and that's OK.  

Diane

What I’ve learned about retirement

Two years of retirement and my 100^th blog post have me in a reflective mood.  Here are some musings on what I’ve learned in the first two years of retirement.

I was ill equipped for free time.  Sure, I’d been on vacations, and I generally didn’t work on weekends, but having a clean slate of time was something new to me.  Without the constraints of a job, I have to come up with my own goals and plans.  I generally have a list of things I want to accomplish, much like my working days.  But now, I don’t have too much heartburn if I decide to delay a task until the next day.  Now, I’m the one giving myself “performance reviews”.  I only have to please myself (and my spouse, of course).    So after a lifetime of busy, I am learning to slow down and soak up life.

Hanging with Joleen and Roby

Leaving your job, selling your house, leaving your friends and moving to a new city is a lot of change.  Generally I like change and seek it out, but this was a heavy load.  At first we were so busy remodeling my house that I didn’t miss my job, and of course I could easily hook up with my friends for lunch or drinks.  It was only after the house was sold and I moved 500 miles away that I realized what was missing:  my long-term friendships formed over years of working together.  Even today it’s a bit lonely living far away from these friends, but I try to keep in touch. And I continue to work on making new friends here.

Dinner with Emily, Maggie and Brian

Walking with Ruth along the river

With my sweetie

Living with your spouse 24x7 isn’t necessarily easy.  Style differences show up big time when you are together all the time.   I am a neat freak, and Mike doesn’t need a world free of clutter.  I like to complete my chores before playing, and Mike prefers to play if and when a good opportunity arises.  Mike is the energizer bunny and prefers to be busy all the time.  I need my down time to energize.  We continue to learn more about each other and are adapting to all this time together. 

Getting the photo...

I get to be creative every day, and I LOVE IT!  Every day I can choose a creative endeavor whether it’s writing, photography, beading, sewing, painting or some other DIY adventure.  And some of my happiest moments are when I’m using my imagination to create something new.

Making purses out of re-purposed jeans

With mom at the Cincinnati Arboretum

Spending time with family is now a wonderful reality.  For my entire working life I lived 500-600 miles away from my family in Southern Indiana and Cincinnati.  I got to see them on holidays, but I missed the daily life occurrences.  Now I can pop up at my mom’s for a quick visit, I can see my nephew in a cross country race, watch another nephew play baseball, spend time with my sister and her husband at an Irish fest or go to an art fair with my brother and his wife.  I can’t undo those missed years, but I’m so happy to be a part of the family once again.

Enjoying the Irish Fest with George and Pam

During my last 3 years of work, I traveled a lot to see my husband who lived in a city 500 miles away.  I am so happy that we are finally together in one city and one house, but I strangely enough I find that I miss the long drives.  I like the wide-open road.  Seeing the farm fields and small towns pass by helps me see the big picture and leave problems and issues on the road behind me.  So once in awhile Mike and I head out again on the open road...

I carefully watch my spending.  When I was working, I was fortunate to have money to buy what I needed when I needed it.  And I saved a lot during those working years, but I don’t necessarily want to spend it YET.  So I think very carefully about what I really need, and it’s actually very little.  Of course we have household, vehicle, insurance and food expenses, but I really don’t NEED much beyond that.  Of course I still like clothes, but now I need casual clothes and not expensive work clothes.  And living with Mike I am learning to re-use and re-purpose what we already own.

Enjoying California wine country

I don’t NEED vacation like I did when I was working.  During the long working hours, I needed an escape to an exotic location.  Now don’t get me wrong, I still love traveling and exploring a new place, but now it’s a WANT instead of a NEED.   And I still love talking about and planning a next trip, but I don’t feel compelled to have the next trip on the horizon.

Biking in Eagle Creek Park

Retirement doesn’t mean you will automatically start exercising more.  Whether working or retired, you have to be motivated.  And I’m not as motivated as I expected or should be.  I walk or ride my bike 3-4 times a week, but I know I should be doing more.  But similar to my working days, I find myself busy with other activities, and I don’t want to break away to exercise.  I’m working on this, and if you find my motivation, please send it my way.

Camping with Gretchen and Craig

I have more time for the important people in my life.  I have slowed down enough to listen intently and hopefully talk less.  I feel like I’m there for people more than in my past.  I remember my work mantra in the years prior to retirement:  “people are more important than tasks”.  What that usually meant was I would spend time with people while at the same time thinking and worrying about the tasks I was not getting done.  Now, l am finally living more in the moment and taking time for the people around me.

Tooth fairy cleaning bases.  Dream job?

I thought I might be employed by now.  I remember telling people I didn’t think I was finished working, and that I had more to offer.  I think this is still possible, and some days I really wish I could be contributing in a major way.  But you know I’ve become very picky about what I do next.  I don’t want to take just ANY job or volunteer opportunity.  My free time has become too important to fritter away.  It feels like I worked my whole life for this time in my life, and I want to savor it. And yes, I still keep my eyes open for that opportunity to make a difference. 

The label “retiree” is getting easier now.  I fought it at first, and it still can bring conversation to a standstill at a cocktail part.  It is my current stage in life, but it is only a label.   
Finally stripped of a work title and position, I am discovering and re-creating a new Diane.  It’s a bit scary at times like when I wonder where I’m headed next.  Or when people ask me what I’ve been up to and I don’t have an easy answer on how I spend my time.  It's not always easy, but I love this time of self-discovery and change.  And just maybe that's my own definition of retirement...

GUMBY goes to Goodwill

Ok, it's a known fact that I go to Goodwill. A lot.  If you've read this blog the past couple of years, you've heard me talk about tons of donations as I readied my house for sale and as Mike and I fit two households together.  And Goodwill has also been a great and inexpensive source of raw materials for making purses and bottles that serve as my canvas for painting.

So last week I was cleaning out a closet and I came across GUMBY.  Ah yes, GUMBY...I still sigh when I think about it.

During my last job before retirement my boss and I didn't exactly see eye to eye.  Let's just say I had a bit of an attitude during my final months since I knew I planned to retire soon.  And when I didn't agree with him, I let him know.  

And as those things go my boss spoke at my retirement party.  And he presented me with GUMBY.  Why?  It was his practice to give this award to people who demonstrated great flexibility.  He said he was giving it to me because I was flexible and performed whatever work he assigned me.   Seemed a bit strange given my attitude and lip in my final days.   Oh yes,  and this was accompanied by a kiss on the cheek.   SERIOUSLY???   You can only imagine my horror.

Now I don't really have anything against GUMBY.  He's a cute little chap and fun little toy.  But you know it's almost been 2 years now, and I just need to let it go.  Gumby AND my feelings about my boss and last job.  It's over, and it's time to move into my new future.  Took me awhile to get here, but it feels pretty darn good!  Opportunities.  Bring them on!

And I hope some little kid happily leaves Goodwill with Gumby in tow!


Diane