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| Diane and Ruth |
I have known my friend Ruth for about 15 years. We worked together at an insurance company in Des Moines, and my first memory of Ruth was a business trip to Toronto to meet with our insurance systems vendor.
We enjoyed many lunches while we were working, both commiserating about work and laughing at the crazy stuff going on in our lives.
Ruth was my role model for early retirement as she retired 1 year before me, and I watched how she adjusted to the change. Ruth and I remain good friends today, and Mike and I especially enjoy her annual visit to Indy each summer.
1.
When and where were you born?
I was born in 1954 in a small county hospital in SE Nebraska. My hometown of Steinauer was 10 miles away,
population 120 at that time. No escaping
it, I was raised as a small town girl. I
was the first girl in my parents growing family. There were 5 young boys at home to greet
me. Rumor has it that in my toddler
years I was a bit spoiled after they fielded a basketball team with boys. Trust me that did not last as like all members
of the family weekly chores were started at a young age. Four more children (3 girls and a boy)
arrived after me.
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| Ruth and sister Susan |
2.
What is your first, most vivid memory?
I
was quite young (3 yrs) and the memory is brief. There were two gentlemen in either jumpsuits
or a pant and shirt of the same dark color coming to the front door. Out where we parked our cars was a large boxy
like vehicle. No idea why it stuck with
me other than in a small town there is routine and most everyone recognizes
everyone else. After explaining this
memory to my mother years later she came to realize it was the day an older
brother (age 9) who had been ill passed away while sleeping in the
recliner. The tone of the household was
quite different which I likely picked up on.
3.
What were you like as a child? What did you do for fun?
I recall being rather carefree and enjoying playing outside
immensely. I loved the outdoors and
going barefoot. I had 5 older brothers
so until I entered my elementary years it was all about trying to keep up with
them. We created our own games, played
hide and seek and hop scotch. During the
summer it was all about catching lightning bugs in the evening.
My
parents allowed pets, and “mine” were 2 dark gray cats named Thundercloud and
Raincloud. They were just one part of an
ever changing family pet menagerie that included a very old dog, toads,
turtles, hamsters, guinea pigs, a parakeet, hunting dogs, rabbits, goldfish, etc.
4.
Who is/was the oldest relative you remember (and
what do you remember about them?)
Longevity runs in both sides of the family. Several relatives have lived to the age of 96 including
my grandmother (dad’s mother) who lived on a farm a few miles out of town, and my
Aunt Ruth (mom’s sister) whom I was named after and a favorite of the whole
family. My mother is currently 93 and dad turns 95 in October.
Aunt
Ruth was loving, laughed a lot, had spirited discussions and always played
penny a point Yahtzee with us kids and never let us win. Grandma was a work horse and always had
chores lined up for us when we visited the farm. She was not a doting grandmother. With that said I fondly remember her treating
us to homemade bread, covered with hand churned sweet butter and then topped
with honey from my uncles hives.
Delicious!
Here is a picture of Aunt Ruth's 90th birthday. Three sisters with three sisters.
Here is a picture of Aunt Ruth's 90th birthday. Three sisters with three sisters.
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| Front: Aunt Dorothy, Aunt Ruth and mom. Back: Sharon, Ruth and Julie.
5.
Describe your parents. What were they like? Where did they meet?
Mom and dad worked hard. When you
have 10 children there isn’t a lot of relaxation time, however during their
middle years they did hire babysitters and went out dancing a few times a month
with long-time friends. They met at a
dance hall in Omaha, NE while dad was home on leave from the Navy. They married in 1945.
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Dad
traveled for his work and was home only on weekends. That bothered me as I
thought he didn’t have the right to tell us what to do when he was home as mom
was the one who raised us. In college
someone asked me when my father died as I never spoke of him, only mom. Was that ever a wake-up call! By then I realized he had been out earning a
living and putting food in our belly and a roof over our head. As a child I did not understand him being on
the road all the time.
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| Ruth's mom and dad |
6.
What was the best gift you remember as a child?
By now you may have surmised that I do not succinctly answer the question
presented. I specifically recall two
gifts from my childhood (pre-teens). I
recall one year when I received a store bought subtle plaid wool pleated skirt
and fancy solid curly wool like top for Christmas. Key words in that last sentence were ‘store
bought’. My aunt had purchased them in
the city and we had not made them ourselves.
That was a big deal and I still remember the color combination.
The
second gift I still have today. My grandmother
on my dad’s side of the family had 65 grandchildren and 65 great grandchildren
by the time she passed away so you can understand gifts were only presented
when you were younger and usually a pair of slippers made from two thin washcloths.
One Christmas I received a ceramic lamp with a hand painted floral design
inside an oval trimmed in gold. It
wasn’t washcloth slippers! That lamp is
still in use today in our guest bedroom.
7.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A
dancer. I always admired the grace of those
that I saw dance on the occasional TV program.
I preferred those that had a contemporary style with the gracefulness of
ballet. Why is this childhood dream odd? I lived in a small community and never had access
to a dance lesson, am not tall nor slender in build. Those ladies were simply cool. I thought them to be more glamorous than a
movie star.
8.
Describe your first job. What did you do with your first paycheck?
I mowed the town park. Since we lived in farm country the boys in town often ended up working for farmers even at a young age. I landed the park gig because my dad owned the lot adjacent to it and since I was already mowing there as part of my summer chores it made sense. I don’t recall the pay so maybe I did not get paid and it was just expected of me.
When I did earn a dollar here and there I used it for the occasional bottle of pop (soda) and a bag of peanuts. Remember the glass bottles of Pepsi and trying to drink up the fizz when the nuts were added? Shortly after that I graduated to the occasional purchase of a 45rpm record.
I mowed the town park. Since we lived in farm country the boys in town often ended up working for farmers even at a young age. I landed the park gig because my dad owned the lot adjacent to it and since I was already mowing there as part of my summer chores it made sense. I don’t recall the pay so maybe I did not get paid and it was just expected of me.
When I did earn a dollar here and there I used it for the occasional bottle of pop (soda) and a bag of peanuts. Remember the glass bottles of Pepsi and trying to drink up the fizz when the nuts were added? Shortly after that I graduated to the occasional purchase of a 45rpm record.
9.
What have you liked best about your life so
far? What is your happiest or proudest
moment?
It
has been a good life without serious calamity or illness. I left a small town and became successful in
what I did. Happiest moment may be the
birth of our first son, and a great moment of pride was when our second son played
the guitar and sang to his bride as she came down the path in their wedding
ceremony in our backyard. It was a
surprise for all the guests. We had no
idea it was part of their plan, he pulled it off beautifully. There were many teary eyed guests at that
time, this mom included. It was a point
in my life when I realized I had been successful in raising my son and that he truly
was becoming a man and had self-confidence.
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| Ruth and Don on their wedding day |
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| Sons James and Andrew |
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| Hiking with Andrew |
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| Andrew, Ruth and Don |
10. What
has been the most frustrating thing or biggest challenge in your life?
Change. I do not adapt well and that scares me. I know that it is inevitable, can be productive and necessary yet it still challenges me. I cannot seem to cross that barrier and jump
on the wagon. It is like running
alongside the train and never sure whether you should grab hold and then
discovering you were left behind.
11. What job did you do most of your life? What did you like most about it? Least?
I worked within the insurance industry most of my life. For the majority of my career I was within an
area that served as the liaison between customer service administration and Information
Technology. Computer problems were often
reported to us, we researched to identify the issue and documented the problem
often testing solutions to smaller issues.
Most
enjoyable was working with my staff and those that we served. Relationships were important to me. The least happy time of my career was when
there was too much to be completed with too few resources in an area I knew
very little about. The long days and
weeks burned me out. This led me to retire
early. The pendulum swung and happiness
returned.
12. If
we asked a relative or good friend about your best and worst qualities, what
would they say?
The
first word that came to mind was ‘caring’.
I recall one point in my career when I was exceptionally frustrated and
my superior said I cared too much. Post
retirement this trait got me into trouble as I over volunteered and found
myself working (unpaid) a tremendous number of hours. As for my worst traits, I do not handle
conflict well. I often shut down instead
of trying to work through it or at the least do not address it.
13. What
do you do for fun now? Hobbies? Special
Interests?
My husband got me into gardening many years ago and post retirement that
became a passion. I spent long days that
first summer revamping my perennial gardens.
A couple years later my son was married in my backyard, and it was also selected
to be part of the Polk County Master Gardeners Garden Tour.
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| Backyard garden |
My passion for gardening carries over into my church where I am co-chair
of the landscape gardens, and I also co-chair a 1.75 acre Demonstration Garden
for the master gardeners.
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| Master Gardener's Demonstration Garden |
I chair a mission group which prepares
and feeds a meal to 200-250 shelter clients once a month, designing the menu
and seeing that all supplies are donated in advance and volunteers available to
prepare and serve the evening meal.
14. What
one item in your life would you never give up?
Why?
Tough question, and not one I have considered. I love my sweets so sugar may fall into that category. I would give it up, but it is not something I would do happily. Maybe owning a car would be more appropriate. I like and appreciate the independence of being able to go whenever I want and not rely on others.
15. What
frightens you? Why?
When aging, the possibility of losing my connection to reality, and
having short term memory loss. Like most
individuals I would prefer to stay both physically and mentally vibrant until
the end.
Also
for many years if I heard the orchestral score to Peter and the Wolf it
instilled a sense of fear. I learned
later in life that in my first few years of life my ill brother played it over
and over and over as it was his favorite music.
Enough time has passed that I can now listen to it without the same
level of cringing.
16. What
is the best advice your parents gave you?
My
parents lived their advice. Mom was
loving and giving. She felt that
memories counted, not the material things.
Dad was the original recycle and re purpose guy. He repaired instead of replacing (although
this was later taken to an unhealthy extreme). He gardened extensively to save money. I swore I would never have a vegetable garden
as I hated all the weeding as a child but a year into marriage we decided fresh
produce was worth it.
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| Dad, Mom and family at the homestead |
17. What’s
your best advice for living a good life?
Focus on the positive and those things that make you happy. Give gratitude. I do not always manage this but I do make an
effort. Being thankful for what you have
takes the focus away from the negative.
A yoga instructor always reminded us to be thankful for even the
smallest things like healthy feet as without them life would be quite
different.
Also
consider ‘want’ vs. ‘need’. That isn’t
to say you should not treat yourself on occasion (after all we have worked hard
to get to this point) but I have observed so many individuals stressing over
finances because they over extended themselves.
Do not focus on the material side of life.
